One month overdue

A little something I got in my email....

Mr Jack comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs.Jack receives a telephone call from MSEB (Maharastra State Electricity Board) because the electricity bill has not been paid.
"Am I speaking to Mrs.Jack?"

"Yes...... speaking"

MSEB guy : "You're a month overdue, you know!"

"How do u know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the MSEB guy .

"What are you saying? It's in your files ...... HOW?"

"Yes ....... We have a system of finding out who's overdue"

" GOD !!!!!.. this is too much.........."

"Madam, I am sorry...... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue"

"I know that ....... let me talk to my husband about this tonight..... he will speak to your company tomorrow "

That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to MSEB office the next day morning.

"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.

"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at MSEB, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."

"PAY you? and if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.

"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."

Everyone is busy. So am I

Am rather busy with work and reading of my trashy Chinese novels these days so blogging has been put on the backbench at the moment. Will leave y'all with this in the meantime.

1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month.

2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.

3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.

7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.

8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby

Funny Anagrams

Got this in my mailbox today
Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.


DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:


PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA:
When you rearrange the letters
(With no letters left over and using each letter only once):
TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay
too much time on their hands!

Reflection

Paths cross and uncross,
Meet, intertwine and go their own separate ways
Just like a tapestry with an intricate design
Part of a bigger picture and yet interesting enough to frame on its own

I am in a reflective mood recently.
A friend is relocating to Shanghai on a permanent basis.
It is an honour to be counted as one of his close friends
Although I never thought that I was one.
It is a surprise to find out that he actually has deeper feelings for me
Although I know that it will not be reciprocated.

When paths uncross, its usually a sad occasion
Just like leaves falling beneath the cool autumn sky
Even though he is moving for a better future
Even though I am sure we’ll probably meet up again somewhere

Which singaporean blogger are you?

I couldnt help but play the game...

Congratulations eyes, you are...

Cowboy Caleb of cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com

You are smart, loyal and sensitive. You are also very caring towards other people and you help them out whenever you can. You are very passionate about your line of work. You fight for your beliefs and if someone doesn't agree with you, you argue your point of view across in a very convincing yet diplomatic manner. For that, you earn respect.

Which Singaporean Blogger Are You?

Theory of Relativity

In 1915 Einstein developed the theory of special and general relativity.

The principle of equivalence holds that forces produced by gravity are in every way equivalent to forces produced by acceleration, so that it is theoretically impossible to distinguish between gravitational and accelerational forces by experiment.

In the theory of special relativity, Einstein had stated that a person in a closed car rolling on an absolutely smooth railroad track could not determine by any conceivable experiment whether he was at rest or in uniform motion.

In general relativity he stated that if the car were speeded up or slowed down or driven around a curve, the occupant could not tell whether the forces so produced were due to gravitation or whether they were acceleration forces brought into play by pressure on the accelerator or on the brake or by turning the car sharply to the right or left.

More here if you are interested but that’s not what my post is about.

Yesterday, I had the theory of relativity explained to me in the scientist's version of Aesop’s fable - The Hare and the Tortoise.

The Hare and the Tortoise have decided to hold a rematch. As such, the tortoise decided to start training for it by running from his home to the lake. While running, he passed a snail on the roadside. Being a polite tortoise, he greeted the snail and asked him where he was heading. The snail replied that he was heading to the lake. Hearing that, the tortoise said "Oh I am heading that way too. Why dont you climb aboard and I'll take you there?"

Delighted, the snail made his way to the top of the tortoise's back and off the tortoise went. About 10 minutes later, they came upon a second snail.
"Where are you heading?" asked the tortoise.
"I'm going to the lake." replied the snail.
"We are heading that way too. Climb aboard and I'll give you a lift." said the kind tortoise.

10 minutes later, the group saw yet another snail making its way along the roadside.
"Where are you heading?" asked the tortoise.
"I'm going to the lake." replied the snail.
"What a coincidence. Get onboard and I'll take you there."

As the snail made himself comfortable on top of the tortoise shell, the first snail was overhead saying to the newcomer.......
"Hold on tight. This guy runs like the wind!!!"

Daily Procrastination

If anyone noticed, I'ved added a couple of new stuff to my sidebar --> tagboard and daily poison. Spend the whole night tweaking them when I should have been doing office work so that I can go for my mid july perth trip in peace.

Tomorrow's burned as well coz I need to go back home (my parents) for dinner coz mom is leaving for her china trip in a couple of days and wanted me to teach her how to use dad's camera and to get her a supply of natural laxatives. Wed's out too coz its my weekly date with the chilli padi at amore.

Great sg sale buy: benchtop 32L oven from tangs that cost us $9 in total.

Achievement: made my first batch of yoghurt last night and it actually taste great!

I am going to be sooo stoned tomorrow.

Don’t Panic

Disclaimer: If you are planning to watch the blogger's guide to the galaxy which is showing in cinemas nationwide, please desist from reading any further until trip to the theatre has been accomplished. You have been forwarned.

Yep. That’s right. That’s exactly what I said. Everyone else been offering their opinions on the upcoming sgblogconspiracy that is taking place at the woodlands public library but this blog will be the only one that will offer you THE solution to the dilemma of “To go or not to go” or "I didnt want to go but I was forced to by some unexplained forces of galaxy".

Sgblogconpiracy, according to the blogger’s guide to the galaxy, is solely orchestrated by a pair of little white mice (LWM) for the purpose of finding the ultimate question to the ultimate answer of 42. Most ignorant humans think that they are the most intelligent lifeform on earth (of which they are completely wrong because any dolphin will tell you that actually dolphins are smarter than humans. Its not their fault that humans don’t have a clue as to what they are saying) and that LWM exist on earth for the sole purpose of being tortured by men in white coats (of which they are completely wrong again because its actually the other way around).

So what do the LWM want with bloggers, you might ask? According to the greatest computer ever built that gave the LWM THE answer of 42, they need to need to build another computer using lifeform materials in order to come up with the fundamental question of the galaxy. Are you starting to get an idea yet, intelligent readers? Yes. Earth is THAT computer and in order to compute THE question, the LWM need to find 100 brains and link them up to earth in order generate enough computational power. Not just any old brain running on the zest of lemons but creative brains. You can see why only bloggers will do the trick.

So, now that one knows what the Sgblogconpiracy is all about, what happens if one finds oneself unwillingly drawn to the slaughterhouse gathering at woodlands public library on that fateful day? This is the solution to the dilemma (Finally -.-) Since creative brains are what the LWM need, all one has to do is go to the gathering with a wet towel wrapped around their head to dampen the creative brainwaves. Yes, the only accessory of any seasoned blogger - the bathroom towel. Not brown paper bags or wet toilet paper or shiny foil mind you but WET towels. Oh yes and if spoken to by servants of the LWM, don’t forget to repeatedly chant “mmmmm donuts”.

(copied with no permission from the blogger’s guide to the galaxy)

Now, if you still don’t know what the above is all about, go read this and this.

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